How to master calibration

What is calibration?

How do I calibrate?

Can calibration be learned?

These are some of the common questions I get when it comes to calibration. Before we tackle them I want to tell you that calibration can 100% be learned. The belief that calibration only comes from reference experiences is straight out wrong.


Let's get into it.


What is calibration and why is it important for your game?

Calibration is the ability to know WHAT you need to do, WHEN you need to do it, HOW it must be done and WHY you are doing that specific action.

Obviously if you are missing elements of the above, it is going to impact your social interactions in a negative way.


Can calibration be learned?

Of Course!

Can you learn what to do , how to do it , when to do it and why you are doing it?


Well then you can learn calibration.


Is calibration only learned through reference experiences?

This is where the flawed belief comes in. Practical experiences are important to internalize certain principles but this is not the full picture.

The belief of “ If I just speak to thousands of women I will eventually become calibrated” is not true.

One of my first mentors was a professional martial artist who competed internationally. He was one of the best in the world, till he damaged his knee.

He would always say to me “ If you are untrained and get in a 100 fights, you will get beat up 100 times, if you train you will increase your chances of knowing what to do in a fight”.

This applies also to social interactions. If you go out and just randomly speak to women, you will be fooling yourself if you think you will get consistent results.

Someone who goes out all the time will just cement all their bad habits without actually ever progressing.

The reference experience needs to be backed up by the knowledge. The knowledge will give you the ability to calibrate effectively.

Remember that there are thousands of people who keep going out for decades but their actual social skills never get better.


They are getting reference experiences but they do not have the right knowledge to understand how to make use of the reference experiences.

Let's break down calibration:

As stated before: Calibration is the ability to know WHAT you need to do, WHEN you need to do it, HOW it must be done and WHY you are doing that specific action.

WHAT to do : Learn the correct theory applicable to the sticking points you currently have and the results you want.

This is where it is important for you to study and learn the theory.

WHEN you need to do it: This is where you need the theory + the reference experience.

You need to study the theory, set yourself briefs and with awareness you will find out when is the right time to execute certain actions.

HOW the action must be done: This is about delivery, non verbals , facial expressions etc

There is absolutely no reason why you cannot practice this when you are socializing.


A professional soccer player is not waiting to practice shooting when he's playing a game. He is practicing before so when he is in that situation he is more equipped to capitalize and achieve the desired result. He can still learn from the live game, but there is no need not to practice.

WHY must you do the action: Now this is arguably the most important part.

WHY are you saying/ doing this action?

Keep asking this to yourself and this will improve your calibration as it will force yourself to break down the interaction into a more technical way of thinking.



Should you calibrate BEFORE OR AFTER you start speaking to a girl?

I hear this question all the time.

The answer is BOTH!

If you are not calibrating before the interaction, you are not making use of all the information at your disposal before you speak to a girl. 

People often say, you cannot calibrate before you open. This is 100 % not true.


Things you want to think about before you open:

- Amount of girls you will be speaking to: if there is 1 girl compared 5 you will have to potentially talk to the group first or at least be aware that the group is there.

- Leader of the group: who is everyone in the group looking at and responding to. This will give you a better indication of who the leader is. This is important so you know who you may have to win over or who will potentially be against you.

- The type clothes she is wearing: Is she wearing clothes that show off her sexuality eg. high heels, short skirt etc This could give an indication that she is looking for a sexual partner. Her clothes will also indicate what type of girl she could be and this is important as the type of girl she is will impact what she responds to.

- Her behaviors: Is she looking around a lot, is she isolated in between her friends etc This will give you an indication of wether she is looking to meet a new romantic partner or not.

- Interrupts: If she is ordering a drink or talking to her friends, then at least you are aware as to where the possible interrupts are going to come from.

Now, yes, I can already hear the skeptics.

This will not always be 100 % accurate, which is why you cannot only calibrate before, but I am sure you can start to see all the potential information that you are missing out of if you do not do any calibrating before you open.

Now, you should always approach regardless, but going in with more information will always be in your favor.

This does not have to be you standing there like a creep for 2 hours watching the girls. This isn't calibration. This is using calibration as an excuse to not take action.

Start spending 1 minute before you open ( depending on the situation) to calibrate before. Train yourself to think of the above elements so that you can INSTANTLY CALIBRATE once you get good at it!

There is also certain information that you can only get after you open which is why you need both!


I hope this has shed some light on how to develop and strengthen your calibration and ultimately what true calibration actually is.

If you want to master real calibration and other advanced principles the schedule a free strategy call with me by clicking the blue button below in which we will discuss your dating life. 

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Gabriel Grey
Gabriel Grey

Gabriel Grey is an Executive Dating Coach at SOCIAL HACKER™